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The trouble with work is... it's so daily.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

There can't be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!

After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...

I love my work; I could sit and watch it all day long.

I have no axe to grind, but I have an ivory letter opener that could use some sharpening.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

To err is human; to forgive is Not Company Policy.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure. - Henry David Thoreau

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me." - Ashleigh Brilliant

Price. Quality. Service: Pick two.

I owe! I owe! So off to work I go!

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off - Anon.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a fool.

DEAR IRS, Please cancel my subscription.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

The world is full of willing people--some willing to work and some willing to let them. - Robert Frost.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Note on a door: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner also.

Notice: The only person getting his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

I may take your call and sound like I am smiling but you have no idea what I am doing on my end... like laughing at your account balance?

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots.

Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

"Granted, Mr. Wheeler's ideas are stupid and unreasonable, but he does own the company and I think we should go along with him..."

They say that you are put on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I am so far behind... I'll never die...

One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow. - Vincent T. Foss

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Every time I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.